Corrupt Owners Corporation (Body Corporate) rep and his friend get a taste of karma for general assholery
It's a little long and not my usual funny stuff but i hope you enjoy. Reposted because too many Aussie terms people understandably didn't understand.
I fell into my line of work by accident. I'm an engineer by trade and one day as a favour i built a custom arcade cabinet for my sons disabled friend. This led to other stuff and a business doing custom work, so my garage wasn't enough anymore.
I rented a unit in an industrial complex and hired some people with disabilities to both give them a chance at work, teach them some skills and help me out obviously. It was my first time renting an industrial unit so I had no idea what i was in for.
Enter bogan (redneck) next door neighbour. This guy was an absolute prick in every way. The previous renter in my workshop was a cabinet maker and he left the place a little dusty. We vacuumed and swept etc, Then we noticed other guys in the units across with leaf blowers, so i got my guy to blow the left over dust out.
Bogan neighbour comes storming in, swearing, being a dick and calling my guy a stupid cunt. I asked what the issue was, and he said the dust was going into his motorcycle repair shop and on his clients bikes.
The bikes were parked in front of my shop, the deal with the real estate was all parking in front of the shops belong to that shop. I advised him of that and he said that i had 1 parking (not 4) and that's the deal he had with strata. I showed him my rental agreement and he wasn't happy. He still snuck in a bike in a space or 2 temporarily but i told him it was ok as long as he asked. He never asked.
Anyway i apologized, introduced myself and offered to get the bikes detailed. Then i pointed out everyone else using leaf blowers. "Yeah but their dust isn't coming into my shop, yours is". Fair enough I thought.
I still had a day job i was in the process of finishing my 2 weeks notice with. The following day I'm at the day job when i get a call. Carlos my guy was upset, bogan neighbour stormed in and starting yelling abuse at him because a little dust went outside. Mind you this place is zoned for heavy industry so, there are truck mechanics and Masons there with dust and smoke everywhere.
I came down, bogan is going off. I know his type so i said "calm the fuck down or step outside. He calmed down. We talked civilly, i told him Carlos is mentally challenged and he's here as part of an incentive to teach them real world skills, apologized again, shook his hand and thought it was over. Nope
2 days later i get a call that Council and EPA are there on an "anonymous complaint". I got served with a cease work order as the place had a DA (Development application) for storage, not cabinet making and fabrication. I had to get a site plan drafted, a floor plan, fire evacuation, waste management, environmental impact statement and a brief explanation of my business, Then have it stamped by Body Corporate and submitted to the Town Planner for approval. Apparently he did this to the last guy too.
Body Corporate refused to stamp my application. It turns out that the elected Body Corp representative was a friend of bogan next door, and bogan next door was a partner in the maintenance contract. Also bogan next door wanted to buy the unit, so he's trying to pull this shit to get it cheap. The owners were 2 old ladies in Melbourne.
Immediately after talking to Body Corporate, they tried to backdate a bylaw suggesting no joinery or cabinet making on the site because of "pollution". Luckily they didn't get the votes needed as i got along well with almost everyone.
They stalled stamping my approval and the cease work order took effect. As long as i lodged it i could continue work, but i couldn't lodge it without the stamp. So I went 2 months back and forth, Body Corp manager was never around, wouldn't answer calls or emails, So i went straight to the Town planner and had a word with him.
He was a really chill guy, liked what I was doing, saw no problem and accepted the application. I was allowed to resume work until I get either an approval or rejection. bogan neighbour was shocked to see me and coincidentally Body Corp arrived that same day ordering us to shut down. I told him to kindly fuck off and showed him my DA lodgement receipt.
Anticipating nefarious feckery on their part i installed cameras. Surprise surprise i get a visit from council 3 days later with another "dust complaint". i went through footage with them present and low and behold, at the day specified i was at the day job and Carlos was wiring, no dust. Now council and EPA realized bogan neighbour was full of it. He had a motorcycle on the dyno, which was incredibly loud, EPA said maybe i should file a complaint, wink wink.
I get an email from Body Corp strongly worded and full of bollocks. I noticed it was a gmail address, so i responded in my my usual cynical way and ended with "Gmail? really? not very professional! i can help with a domain if you need"
I then did a search and noted they didn't have a website, so i registered every iteration of their company name .com.au., .com, .net, hyphenated, underscored you name it. About 13 domains in total. Then I registered their business name, They had a "generic business, trading as..." but there was no hit for their "trading as" name. It was also 2 common words together so it passed. I had a friend on the central coast so i registered it under his address, the business name began with "central" so it was a failsafe.
With the "unprofessional for not having a website" seed planted, I inevitably received a complaint from Fair Trading and Godaddy about the business name and domains. After some back and forth-ing, submitting evidence etc, it was found in my favour. Buffy Corp was pissed. I offered to sell them everything for the cost of the loss of work and the drafting i had to pay a draftsman for the DA application. $12.5k in lost work and expenses, they told me to eff off, i told them to eat a variety of suspicious looking sausages.
I bought a DB meter and the next time bogan next door dyno'ed a bike i recorded it. I think by Sydney law they're allowed 91db, This guy fitted exhausts and i was reading 94-97 next door. I called EPA and put in a complaint. They found him in breach, not enough sound proofing, no fume extraction and a variety of other things he got fined for. I heard it cost him thousands and he was shut down for a week or so.
Body Corp finally agreed to pay after we used "our" domain to put up a website claiming "shonky work for twice the price"
We agreed on $9k. I moved out 2 months later and got a cheaper place closer to home with only 1 neighbour, who likes Techno music and bbq. every weekend i hold a small bbq for us, we get along just fine.